Living with a disability

Well the recovery never really happened. I have not given up hope, but I am not waiting around for it. I have been left with what I estimate to be about 50-60% of my previous functionality and energy levels. If i step outside my 'energy envelope' - I do too much exercise, work, stay up too late, stand too long, walk too much, socialise too much, - then I pay the price the next day and sometimes have to spend an entire day in bed. I have not got very good at 'pacing' myself as I have only really just come to terms with the idea that I am not going to recover in the immediate future, and I have been dealing with the grief and denial that goes with that for some time. But I'm working through that and the good project manager that I am, I am sure I will get together a program to try and optimise the resources I have left. The first thing I need to get on top of is my night time schedule. I get into a bit of pain, zone out with TV or computer or both and don't go to bed until late and so feel like I need to sleep in the next day. I sound like a petulant teenager really. Well, I need to set a reasonable curfew for myself, and some routines for getting off to sleep.

And the mystery disease is: Guillain Barre Syndrome

After some 8 months of symptoms ranging from almost not being able to walk, blurred vision, incredible pain in my back and legs, loss of feeling in my legs, feet and hands, not being able to breathe at times, bladder and bowel problems the details of which I won't bore you, intolerance to heat as I have stopped sweating, not being able to ride my scooter or bike, nausea, dizziness, headaches, digestive problems and a month in hospital, I finally got a diagnosis - Guillain Barre Syndrome.

Guillain Barre Syndrome itself is very rare - 1 or 2 people in 100,000 get it, but of course, my version had to be a rare variant called Autonomic (sudomotor) variant of Guillain Barre Syndrome. The neurologist told me I was the second one he had seen in 10 years with this varient. I should recover, but he is not sure how long it will take.

Two weeks ago, just when I thought I was getting better, I got a stomach bug and it was like having a mini relapse - and I really panicked. My walking has deteriorated, my sight has gone blurry again, I have been really struggling. I'm slowing improving, but by lunchtime my leg is dragging on the ground and I can hardly move around.

I might feel terrible, but everyone is telling me how good I look! I can highly recommend a week of fasting for that fresh faced model look.

The one that did not get away

Here is Rae with the monster zucchini. Any of you who have had the pleasure of growning zucchini will know that one of the curious things about them is that they seem to be flowers and then finger sized little zucchinis and a week later they are have put on an exponential growth spurt and taken over half the vegie patch!

Since I got back home I have been watering my Zuchinis which are just about to mutate into monsters - I had better pick them tomorrow morning before they take over the neighbourhood.

Time to get back into the vegie patch. I made a a wonderful gardening date with my friend Marian and her daughter for the week after easter to help me tackle my community garden patch which looks like a scorched landscape at the moment - with a nice crop of weeds - how come they aways survive?

College Park Memoirs

I've been in College Park Maryland - a kind of outpost of Washington DC, but in another state for three days now. It has been a real eye opener. We spent yesterday touring the sites of DC - all the monuments and cemetaries. One thing I did not realise was how close the pentagon is to all the monuments and the white house - in fact, its about 1 minute flying time between the whitehouse and the pentagon for a 747, even though they are in different states. So every time an airplane took off from Ronald Regan airport and flew over, it was quite nerve wracking.


The outskirts of DC are kind of - well - square. All the buildings are square and many are red brick in a kind of colonial style. And even the new places are boxes - so South Parkesk in their shape and appearence. Tonight we commuted into town and went to a fantastic restaurant - Maggiano's in DC. The food was fantastic, and even though it was a pretty swish restaurant - it was only about $25 a head. We has vodka gnocchi with tomato and a spinach salad with blue cheese - so nice. We are going back next week.

Tomorrow we are off to Georgetown University, so that will be interesting. Lots of photo's of squirrels the last few days as they are so cute but apparently attack if you get too close.

Three days in S F

Copy of email to Kerry and Grant

I have had 3 days in San Francisco and I
have warmed to the place and its hills.

I keep meeting Aussies of course - this hotel is full of them. Actually it is a great little hotel - very inexpensive but very well kept, nice staff and a fabulous breakfast buffet so you can stock up for the day. Today it was pissing down rain and cold, but cleared this afternoon to a nice sunny but cold day. I walked in the rain to Lafayette park -
which is in the swish part of town near where I am staying, because the guidebook said it had great
views. All I saw was some soggy gum trees and a wet labardour. I walked down to the california st cable car and found on the way my favourite shop in the USA - wholefoods market - it just has organic everything - imagine an organic store the size of the average Coles or Safeway - no coke -
they have their own cola (organic I guess) and lots of nice stuff. You can even buy dinner there and eat it for a very good price. I think I will head there tonight as I suspect the next two weeks might be a little fast food filled.
On my cable car ride, I took the street car and I went down to the castro - which is the gay end of town, very nice spot. Then I went to the SF mueseum of modern art. It was, well, modern. The building is spectacular, but their art besides a few pieces was a little dissapointing. There were
some interactive exhibits which was good. They had a lot of video, and there was two side by side videos of Yoko Ono sitting on stage getting her dress chopped up in little pieces by the audience in
1965 and a more recent encore. That was actually very interesting. I was also a bit tired and not paying attention and I lost my possum fur hat - i think it was whisked away to be an exhibit.
You do notice some subtle differences between LA and San Francisco. Take for example the bums. In LA - they are polite and pretty clean. They have luggage and not shopping carts. They comb their hair when they get up from sleeping in the park in the morning and their clothing is clean. In San
Francisco, the bums are more like bums, they can be a little pushier, they nearly all have shopping trolleys stacked with their belongings, and they stuggle up and down the steep hills here and there.
The other night I stepped around a guy down at the wharf. He was sprawled across the pavement, asleep or unconcious, in fairly grubby condition with an empty bottle and a neatly written sign on cardboard. 'I need a hooker, please help' I'm not sure that is what he need.

Monterey and Pebble Beach

A big day today starting off with getting petrol - took me a while to figure out you have to pre pay here - and set off for the Monterey Aquarium. What a fantastic aquarium. It was set up in the early 1980's with the help of Mr & Mrs Packard of the Hewlett Packard fame with his millions earned from scientific calculators (well I know I donated at least $120 for one back then) and large computers. Well done Packards!

The stunning thing about this place is the otters - there are around 6 in all (all seem to be girl otters) and they are fantastic. They are big - probably about 1.5 metres with tail by my estimation. All are permanent residents due to behavioural problems (they go up to people when released) or health conditions. They did seem quite happy and jolly I must say, and the otter wranglers did appear to do lots of things to keep them entertained.

All of the exibits were outstanding, but the jellyfish were fantastic. Here are some of the Jellies I snapped.

In the afternoon, I hired a bike and road around the 17 mile drive to Pebble Beach - amazing houses and golf courses and fantastic beaches and rocks. Here is one of the tees on the Spanish Bay Golf Links

Day Three -San Luis Obispo to Monterey

A facinating day on the road trip. I started off at 8.00am from San Luis Obispo - a college town. Coffee from the Black Horse- Cafe Latte with an extra shot, but still not real coffee. An nice town, but off to Hearst Castle for my tour. I booked this on boxing day from Port Fairy.

Hearst Castle is quite amazing- full of European gothic and renanance works of art - the most exquisite tapestries I have seen. The money this family had/has is palpable in the buildings and artwork.

Off down the road along the beatiful Californian Coast. A stop off to look at the elephant seals which are almost as long as an average car.

A drive along the coast was most stimulating. I am getting quite used to driving on the wrong side of the road and I have discovered that it is only when I am tired that I find it hard to cope with staying on the opposite side of the road.

Well this is California - the home of self improvement, so I bought a talking book - Jack Kornfield - on Buddhist Psychology to listen to as I travel along. It has been really fruitful to listen to this book - as it has many valuable insights.

The night in the Motel 8 at Monterey - it has free wireless broadband, microwave, fridge, TV and its spotlessly clean. What is more, it is just accross the road from my new favorite shop - Wholefoods Market. Imagine a supermarket full of organic and healthy food, with take home meals, organic beer (I'm drinking a californian organic belgian style beer now) real fruit - fantastic.

Tomorrow - the Monterey Aquarium and in the afternoon, I'm deciding between a bike ride around to Carmel, or a whale watching tour. It is good to stay in one place for more than a day, and I have done most of my travelling with only 110 kms to San Francisco where I will be for three nights including New Years.

Day one LA

A long but uneventful flight – but I probably only got 30 minutes sleep all up. Queues on arrival at immigration – about an hours wait, and then another hours wait at the hire car place. Luckily I rented a GPS – what a godsend. It has taken me a couple of hours of driving around LA – mostly missing turn offs – to learn to drive on the wrong side of the road, but I’m getting quite good at it now, and the GPS (once you get used to it) means you don’t have to worry too much about getting lost. The first hour the poor thing had to constantly re calculate the route to the point where I was cracking up laughing. Luckily, the LA traffic on a Saturday afternoon is pretty laid back
Lunch at Venice Beach – very bohemian. There is probably million dollar properties, but many of them look like beach shacks or stucco. Lots of places for rent on the beach front.
When I got to Santa Monica, I had a flat tire. I pulled into a parking lot and looked everywhere for the jack – in the boot, in the engine compartment. Finally I found the owners manual and found the jack is under the drivers seat. Changing the tire, two guys asked if I needed help after 20 minutes of struggling with the jack and tires. I would have had 20 people ask me If I was moving the car because they wanted my spot, but until those guys came along, no one offered to help or asked me if I was ok.
Checked into my hotel – different, unusual, different – the view out the window is of the airconditioning plant and it sounds like a jet liner. Oh well – I have not been asleep for about 30 hours, so I think I will sleep well tonight.
I walked around the pedestrian mall for 2-3 hours tonight – just amazing. There are expensive boutiques, a million crappy coffee shops, lots of picture theatres. Some things that have struck me so far:
Lots of buskers from the crazys to great guitar players, wrap dancers and dancing jews celebrating chanaka and joined by the wrap dancers

Some sightings and thoughts:

• Lots of dogs in shops - go to the third floor of borders - they are there!


• lots of polite and fairly clean and neat homeless people- perhaps just the santa monica homeless are designer


• lotus taxi


• power yoga


• childrens gyms


• Lots of shops


• the mall is pumping at night - but at 9.00am sunday the only thing full is Dr Dance's studio with the beatiful people


• the jack in a toyota yaris is under the drivers seat


• I love my rental gps - its got me so far otherwise I would still be driving around in LAX


• Sunday morning you dance or yoga in santa monica

the start

The trip has begun, and I have successfully navigated the duty free stores they place as obstacles in the departure lounge without a purchase (although the digital SLR with 2 lenses for $699 was tempting). I'm now armed with fisherman's friends to keep my cold at bay, ear plugs and a new pink highlighter for the lonely planet guide to coastal California which will be my main read on the plane. A special thanks to all those who helped me get organised for the trip - especially Russell who kindly escorted me to the airport via Highpoint ANZ to sort out visa card pins! Next blog should be from the beach somewhere on the West coast!

Community Garden Adventures

A few weeks ago, I got a call from Marc at the Kensington Recreation Centre about the community garden plot that I put my name down for a couple of years ago. I thought I had better take it up the offer as it was the last plot.

My first trip to the community garden revealed that plot 15 was a veritable jungle! Some hard work to clear a little of it, and now it sports some tomatoes and beans. I've dug up and composed with horse poo about 1/5 of the plot. No need to join the gym.

Turns out that having a community garden plot is equivalent to having a puppy! Lots of people talk to you through the fence, and some neighbours have even admitted to community garden envy!

The standard of neatness for community gardens is extremely high, so plot 15 is currently still the most untidy, even though I've spent some time pulling out the undergrowth and clearing the jungle.

It has been very therapeutic to dig over the hard earth and dig in some compost, plant a few things and chat to my new neighbours.

Turns out the queue for the community garden is about 50 people and there are only about 30 plots, so I was quite lucky to get my plot, even if it is a jungle.

Lots of stuff

I have had lots of conversations recently with people and promised lots of stuff. I have put together some useful tools, sites and people I have found / met recently, and thought you all might like to know about them.

Cool tool

Want to do more than a survey? Create a users voice page (thanks Geri Overberg).

http://www.uservoice.com/

This site allows you to register and conduct a survey or feedback from users or whoever on different ideas. More flexible than a survey – they can add their own ideas and comments, more structured and useful than email or chat.

Presentation skills

I believe that presentation skills are an essential skill in the business tool kit. Who’s going to trust you with a squillion dollar project if you can’t string together a presentation, or if you submit your audience to death in a hail of power point bullets. I highly recommend the presentation skills course facilitated by Justin O’Brien through My Development. Even if you have done lots of presentations and you can mostly wing it (like I used to do), you will still pick up some really valuable tools and techniques from the course. If you are nervous, this will build your confidence. Justin is very experienced and has provides very supportive and constructive feedback on what you do well, as well as areas for improvement on presentation skills.

It’s a day out of your life, but hey, think about how many bland or awful presentations do you sit through in a month, and there are so few opportunities to get constructive feedback in this area. Just do it!

For those outside Medibank, see Justin’s web page at

http://www.hppg.com.au/html/s01_home/home.asp

Want to see how a great presentation is done, with little evidence but lots of presence and personality and humour check out Sir Ken Robinson at TED.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

(Thanks Justin for the link and the course was excellent!)


Visual Periodic Table

Need to find new and different ways to present data, strategies, metaphors, concepts, and ideas? This website has heaps of stuff I have not had time to explore, but I used their visual periodic table is a nice tool, and it takes a little while to load, but well worth it if you are looking for different ways to present visual info.

http://www.visual-literacy.org/pages/documents.htm

Common Craft

We all struggle at times to get complex ideas across to others. Check out common craft. They explain now the US President is elected in plain English in about 3 minutes quite brilliant– short but compelling. Unfortunately, I can't provide a link to you tube (for some odd reason)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok_VQ8I7g6I

I really like their video explaining zombies - check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnfyradCPY

Workplace politics and tactics, managing people, negotiation tactics
Need some hints and tips on business politics and tactics and more. Ever walk out of a meeting and wonder – what just happened? This site will give you some insight. I enjoy Rick Brenners insights and tips, and he sends out fortnightly short and sharp emails on topics no one else really writes about. Have a look at his archives.

www.chacocanyon.com/pointlookout/archive.shtml

A Poem from Leonard Cohen

A LIFE OF ERRANDS

If You Are Lucky
You Will Grow Old
And Live
A Life Of Errands.
You Will Discern
What People Need
And Provide It
Before They Ask.
You Will Drive Your Car
Here And There
Delivering And Fetching
And Neither The Traffic
Nor The Weather
Will Bother You
In The Least.
You Will Whip Down The 405
To San Diego
To Pick Up An Acorn
For Someone's Proverb
And So On And So Forth.
In Spite Of The Ache
In Your Heart
About The Girl You
Never Found
And The Fact That
After Years Of
Spiritual Rigor You Did Not Manage
To Enlighten Yourself
A Certain Cheerfulness
Will Begin To
Arise Out Of Your Crushed
Hopes And Intentions.
How Thirstily
You Embrace Your Next Commission:
To Sift Through The Sunglasses
At A Lost And Found
In Las Vegas
Just A Few Hours
Across The Desert.
Your Hair Is White
You Have Breasts
And A Gut
Over Your Belt
You Are No Longer A Boy,
Or Even A Man
But A Sense Of Gratitude
Enlivens Every Move You Make.
Yes, Sir, These Are The
Very Gold-Rimmed Pair
She Left In The Plastic Tray
Beside The Dollar Slot Machines.
No, Sir, I Am Not Lying.

Leonard Cohen
December 31, 1999

2006 a retrospective

Greetings for 2006,
It has been another busy year, so I thought I might write a Christmas letter to those of you that I have not had a chance to catch up with recently.

I ventured to Western Australia in early 2006 with a cycle tour from Albany to Perth over two weeks. My first trip to WA and cycling was certainly a great way to see the countryside – pristine beaches and fabulous wineries. A small accident saw me fall into a ditch and break a rib, but I managed to continue riding – sleeping hurt though!

Less than a week after I got back from WA, I participated in the Oxfam Trailwalker – a 100km walk done over 48 hours raising funds for Oxfam. The weather was terrible, it rained heavily all night, and the last section of the walk up Mount Donna Buang was shut down due to snow dumping down. Injuries meant that I had to pull out 10kms from the finish, and although I was disappointed, it was still a great accomplishment.

April was a sad time with Miss Tigger finally running out of puff and having to be put down. I still miss her company, as does Harvey who relied on her.

With such a busy start to the year, I decided to have a couple of quiet months, and put my head down and worked. I have been contracting as a Project Manager at the Mothership since July 2005. I was fortunate enough to have the mothership sponsored me for Project Manager training, and so May and June saw me successfully completing my Prince2 Foundation and Practitioner qualifications.

September saw me thinking towards the future, and I purchased a new unit in Kensington. The long term view is to move there in three years time. Meanwhile, I will let it out, and stay in Ascot Vale Road for the time being.

November I was off on my next big adventure – New Zealand. At first, I hired a campervan and went to Kaikoura which is a great little town north of Christchurch. Swimming with the dolphins was a fantastic experience. I toured down to Hanmer Springs and then headed south for Queenstown to meet up with half the Vic state government economists (well 6 of them) to walk the Milford Track. What an experience – we had the best weather, including snow the night before we went over the McKinnon Pass – so it was blue skies and a winter wonderland on our walk over the pass.

Back to work just in time to be offered and accept a full time position with Medibank Private as a project manager, and get one of my major projects signed off. December saw settlement on the new property, and a flurry of activity – settlement was on the 5th December, and by the 15th the apartment (which was somewhat cosmetically challenged in shades of pink) had been repainted, new blinds and scrubbed from top to bottom. Now I get to stop (briefly) for Christmas and spend a week down at Port Fairy with the family.

So what is ahead in 2007 for Linda? Well, may be some more study, deepening my meditation practise and a few projects around the house for starters.

I hope 2007 is happy and productive for you all, and I hope to see you in the new year.
Love Linda
XXX OOO

Vale Miss Tigger

Little Cat

[Vail Miss Tigger, 1989 – April 19th 2006]

I said goodbye to you today, little cat.
Fingers caught on bones when I stroked your fur.
You could scarcely raise your head to drink,
yet still you calmed me with your purr.

Were you comfortable curled on the rug?
And did you know your time drew near?
Your wide brown eyes held gentle love,
and quiet pain, but showed no fear.

You slipped away so quietly
that we weren't sure that you were gone.
Our bouncy little cat is stilled
but your spirit lingers on.

Little ghostcat, where are you?
Are you happy, are you strong?
I feel your warmth, your life, your love
and still can hear your purring song.

(MJ Falango)

I first saw Tigger on the front lawn of Barkly st Brunswick where I was living. She came up to me and had a pat. I saw her a number of times in the empty lot a few doors down. When the dog at our place went to the kennel in the sky, Tigger moved into the back yard the next day. The neighbours called her stupid because she used to sit in their chicken coup and commune with the chickens. Tigger used to wait outside for me to come home from work, and so she really just adopted me.

the big walk - the lowdown

write more here

The big walk - 100km or die in the attempt

Well, the big day is nearly here.

Tomorrow is the 100km walk for Oxfam and it looks like cool weather. For those of you following this blog, now is the time to sponsor me! Go to http://www.oxfam.org.au/trailwalker/donate/
and fill in the details as follows:

1. Event: Melbourne 2006
2. Team: No.403 Team Nurofen
3. Walker: Linda Williams

I know I can make it the first 50kms, its the second 50kms that I might have trouble with!

Here goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Final Day - Pinjarra to Perth 95kms

The last day - and it started raining about 1.00am. At 5.30am - time to rise and shine - it was still raining. Everyone was up early this morning it would seem, packing up in the rain. On the bike about 7.20am this morning and off through town and then country roads. The roads today were great - very smooth with few exceptions and the absence of a headwind meant that we could move along at a steady clip. I made it to the lunch spot by 9.00am - by the serpentine river. Lots of farmets in the 60 kms outside Perth and lots of horse studs and adjistment facilities. The terrain is very flat and sandy, and the ubitiqus grass trees everywhere beside the road. We travelled today for around 40km on cycle paths beside the freeway. I am very impressed by the cycle pathways around Perth - I have to say I think they are better than Melbourne. All are well sign posted and it seems you can get most places by bike. The last kms of the trip were cycling beside the swan river - a magnificent backdrop to the city. Finally at Langley Park and the final fairwells. Anne and I headed for a coffee shop - "only five minutes walk" from out friend Cathy - twenty minutes later with heavy packs we made it - but the coffee was worth it. Anne's friend came to pick her up and I was left to my own devices. I did not have the address of the YHA, but I was told it was near the Wellington St Bus Station. Some irish people saw me looking at the map and said that it was not far and I could easily walk. I set off with 20kgs of luggage up the hill and left down Wellington St. Looking for the new YHA which no one knows of - I walked all the way to the freeway before I decided that this was not looking good. I finally realised that the YHA was at the other end of the street, and so I made the trek back - probably a 5km round trip with the pack after a 95km cycle - needless to say, I was a little tired. Did not stop me sightseeing once I had showered and changed. Tomorrow - Freo on the train, and then home on Monday....

Bunbury to Pinjarra - 109km

An early start today - I was on the road by 7.00am and already headed into a headwind. With a 100km plus day, this was not auspicious. We had some scenic views initally riding along the lagoon which stretched for miles. A lot of new estates out this way north of Bunbury. Finally we turned onto the freeway for a stretch, and then a side trip to Yarloop for lunch. Back into the headwind and down one of the few hills of the day - coasted for at least 500metres before resuming pedling. The push to camp was completed by tacking onto a few bike trains and drafting. I reached camp by 1.00pm - bit of a record day for me. Poor Anne still had 24kms to go once I had put up my tent, and then found her bag. She arrived two hours later a little worse for wear.
I caught the bus into Pinjarra, but there was not a lot to see - a nice park with a bridge over the river murray, and a historic tea room, but the rest was pretty standard. I was feeling fine after a nanna nap, but I still retired at 10.00pm - another almost 100kms tomorrow for the last day.

Bussleton to Bunbury - 62 kms

Another great days cycling through quiet roads and farmland - also forrest of some special tree I can't remember, but is was a little grey and boring - but special. We arrived at Bunburry at 10.30am before the luggage trucks, so stretched out on the grass and ate lunch at 11.00am. Bunbury is a nice little town with a dolpin display centre where the dolphins come into shore - not sure what else is there. Lots of time to read and relax before the big 108kms tomorrow - only 2 days to go!

Margaret River to Bussleton - 69kms

Back on the bike today - and a fantastic introduction back to the bike. We rode through wineries and farmland on quiet backroads with dappled shade. Anne and I took it easy today, as we had obviously eaten too much on our rest days and cycling at pace did not come naturally. We stopped at the chocolate factory and had a coffee, but Anne gave the chocolate she purchased the thumbs down. I stuck to the free samples which were ok.
Arrived at Bussleton with its famous pier - nearly 2kms long. Following a quick dip in the ocean with the stingers we walked into town to find a great gelati shop along with many of my fellow riders - yum. They made good coffee too! Early night - fell asleep around 9.00pm.